At this point it occurred to me many times to leave Panama City and go back to Bocas to work for the United Fruit Company. However, I remained in my old Twenty Five Street neighborhood to make sure I could be located for the long awaited teaching assignment.
It also reassured me that I wouldn’t disappoint the Lady Governor of Bocas, that I would be readily available to the Governor and pass up any offer that my father could match. But, then with me I was worried that my name would not appear as how it was listed on my school documents and would again cause me to miss the best opportunity of my life for it had been for me one of the things that I really wanted. But then I believed, deep down, that it would top any offer that my father could make, and I thought it a big blessing for me to become a young teacher.
At that moment I recalled that it was close to Carnaval and that would surely hold things back for us who had to await government appointments since everything came to a halt for Carnaval week. Once Carnaval came and went and I had not heard from the Ministry of Education or the Lady Governor of Bocas it suddenly seemed like a Mission Impossible for anyone to find me. It turned into a big disappointment.
My depressive state then had swung from one issue to the other and I began to imagine that the people at the Ministry of Education seamed not to care or were unable to deal with the paperwork it took to move to get the job done faster to get the mob of eager young people like myself to places in the interior of the country where they would be working in new environments, even without knowing anyone that could help them get settled.