Despite my occasional reprieves from the everyday worries of being a young adult, my emotional state during this time was in continual flux over how Pug and I had fallen out of love. We were in a real period of splitting up. But I didn’t want to duplicate this scenario with Barbara. I’d come to the conclusion that I could not have a real love affair again after my failure with Pug. Continue reading
Entrance to Mt. Hope Cemetery in Colon, Republic of Panama.
But, Miss Ethel Levy’s wake would turn out to be a revealing one for me in particular. It was attended by mostly her family and close friends crowded into the Chapel at the Mount Hope Cemetery. I never did look forward to these things and the actual viewing of my close friend’s remains was brief. So I hung out outside together with my acquaintances listening to the Albert “Nick” Brown the tailor- Miss Levy’s only son- give a running account of the events leading up to his mother demise. Continue reading
The silence between Pug and me spoke for itself that day. She had searched my face diligently as we walked on that lonely country road, going home with the baby boy. Then we both stopped for her to shift the baby boy to her other. Suddenly I said, “Since you don’t want to have anything to do with me anymore, tell me, how am I going to get money to make it back to Colon?” She took her time and then insisted, “My family don’t want me to have anything to do with you Juni, but the Chinaman has promised me some money. Furthermore, he even knows about you going to be a teacher soon, and all that.” Continue reading
That day, as we walked home from the picnic with the Seventh Day Adventist community, Pug become talkative, wanting to open up a conversation with me that she had apparently been rehearsing with herself for a while. “Juni,” she said carefully, “I want to discuss something with you but, I don`t want you to get vex with me or get so upset with me.“ I braced myself for what I thought was the inevitable. She then continued gathering a little more strength in her voice.”It is that I want to tell you that I want a separation because I don’t want to be with you anymore.” Continue reading
While burning the trash from the churchyard job, a strong sea breeze kicked up to cool me off. As I worked I started to think about the Reverend Lady I had just met and I decided to do a good job as the challenge of finally getting rid of all the trash the job had produced troubled me. By the eighth day on the job I felt satisfied that the yard was looking good enough to be called neat. I then went to see the Reverend to report on my progress. Continue reading
Image thanks to quotehd.com
By now I realized why I had been out of synch whenever I tried to speak to Pug about what was making her so unhappy and the issues that had soured our “love.” But no matter how often I tried, it was fruitless as she would not respond to me, or anyone else, about what it was I had done so wrong to embitter her. Even to this day it is a mystery to me. I did continue, however, to mentally seek to know the hidden side of the things that had suddenly spoiled our lives. I began blaming it on her love of putería, or whoring which I tended to forget in my naivete. Continue reading